The Dominion of The Card Kingdom is a large, orderly nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, ubiquitous missile silos, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 67 million Cards are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order and Education are also considered important, while International Aid and Spirituality are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.0%.

The strong a Card economy, worth 4.49 trillion Monies a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Pizza Delivery, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 67,052 Monies, with the richest citizens earning 7.1 times as much as the poorest.

The death penalty has been reintroduced, all government communication requires the imprimatur of the Truth Police, road signs are getting harder to read under layers of knitted woolen cardigans, and barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the The Card Kingdom City Natural History Museum. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. The Card Kingdom's national animal is the Rabbit, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

The Card Kingdom is ranked 96,581^st in the world and 2,762^nd in The North Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 67 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.